Reuters presents evidence that Prof. Goose is actually a high ranking administration official
Posted by nate hagens on April 1, 2007 - 11:35am
Leaks out of Washington DC circulated Saturday that a high ranking administration official may actually be the co-founder of the popular internet energy blog theoildrum.com.
Sources from Reuters early today provided evidence that Presidential political advisor Karl Rove is the internet identity "Professor Goose." Professor Goose plays a central role at the website raising awareness and discussion about the urgency of "Peak Oil." A memo was found on Rove's stationary in a bathroom stall providing evidence for Rove's 'dual role' in directing Bush policy.
Rove, an alleged genius, apparently has decided--in ironic double-Orwellian style--to create and advocate an internet blog to promote awareness of what would be an energy train wreck absent significant policy changes. The memo clearly shows Rove briefing the President
"...finally some Americans are realizing the facts about our energy situation. In my opinion however sir, the urgency of the situation does still not have the critical mass needed for Stage II of your plan "Operation: Sustainable Goose."
The plan, according to an unnamed source in Langley, was to start to mention oil 'addictions' and 'finiteness' in public, but bring support and awareness of the Peak Oil situation to a grass roots tipping point through informed, internationally credible internet blogging on theoildrum.com. Once public concern reached a critical level at "Stage II," the administration would "out of necessity, announce mandatory gas taxes, draconian conservation and efficiency mandates, and 'infrastructure changes.'"
Due to the recent downturn in the housing market, the ongoing middle eastern conflict, and the country's obsession with "American Idol", it was decided at Washington's highest levels that we have too fragile a populace to hear the truth from the White House. In addition, 'outright honesty about oil' would represent an untenable political risk.
This morning, emails to theoildrum.com were not returned. Reuters is efforting this story to find out these important details as we speak.
Sources close to the situation say it is no coincidence this leak coincided with this week's release of the GAO Report on Peak Oil, and expect a Press Conference possibly with the President as early as this evening.
It should also be noted that there have been previous rumours that Prof. Goose was Jimmy Carter's sweater, the president of Exxon Lee Raymond, "Baghdad Bob," Barack Obama, PM Tony Blair's dentist, Che Guevara, and/or the ubiquitous Saudi Oil Minister, Ali al-Naimi.
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Good night, and good luck.
Reuters presents evidence that Prof. Goose is actually a high ranking administration official
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31 comments
Reuters presents evidence that Prof. Goose is actually a high ranking administration official
PDF version
31 comments
Contact
- Content: editors at theoildrum dot com
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ROTFLMAO ! Excellent !
Where IS that 'Theory of Everything' ?
In related news, President George Bush was seen driving a Zap Smart car around his ranch in Crawford, TX where he is currently installing 500 acres of solor panels in order to "take Crawford off the grid". This publicity stunt will mark the beginning of a nationwide campaign to conserve fossil fuel energies in all walks of life.
One more interesting bit, Dick Cheney invited Cindy Sheehan onto the Bush ranch to discuss ways to end the Iraqi situation quickly and peacefully.
PRICELESS!!
BREAKING NEWS,
In an update related to Dragonfly's breaking story " Dick Cheney invited Cindy Sheehan onto the Bush ranch to discuss ways to end the Iraqi situation quickly and peacefully."
Due to an accidental discharge of a firearm, the Dick Chaney/Cindy Sheehan meeting has been canceled. Details are not known, stay tuned for information as it is released.
RC
Ha...I was looking for a way to work that in....precious!!
Hit reddit, hit digg, hit your favorite link farm! :) Send it to slashdot, metafilter, del.icio.us, stumbleupon, etc.
Pleased to meet you. Won't you guess my name.(Woo Hoo)
Cid Yama, you're really King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia! C'mon now, fess up.
Antoinetta III
As I sit here on this beautiul April Fools Day morning next to my books by Simmons, Deffeyes, Kunstler, and others on Renewable Energy, Sustainable and Country Living, I think maybe my family and friends think maybe this is a day in my honor. Ok dammit maybe a bit eccentric, crazy as a fox, or better yet just plain insightful. Anyway to all those that wear/bear a little Peak Oil on their sleeve. Thanks for your crusade and find some humor in today! Where are we if we can't laugh a bit at ourselves?
I'm buying a Hummer!
But don't worry, it's an environmentally-friendly one:
We may have to raise the standard bridge underpass height for this invention.
Nate: Classic April Fool's joke. Hits right at the achilles heel of the internet blogger (high levels of free floating paranoia). Sad to say, your headline hooked me. My spidey sense didn't kick in until the part about the memo found in the toilet stall. Priceless.
I've only had time to read the post and none of the comments, as I've got a lot of work hitting a deadline.
I've suspected for a long time that some very important insiders have been posting of TOD. I thought I recogized some of the phrases that Richard Perle uses in several different posts. I'm sure Matt Simmons reads TOD too.
But the news that Carl Rove posts here is a pretty amazing revelation. But is it really that surprising? The current administration is full of people with ties to Big Oil.
So maybe things aren't as bad as they sometimes seem. At least it means the country's leaders are taking Peak Oil seriously.
Thanks for posting this interesting news, Nate!
Your serious?
With the moniker of Writerman, your serious?
Airdale-my son got me last nite. I was prepared for it.
Dear Airdale, or should that be Airhead?
I've now had the opportunity to read the replies and reactions to Nate's piece about the Reuter's scoop, and now I've more convinced than ever that the story's accurate.
This story is simply classic Carl Rove. Here's how it pans out, and please pay attention if that's not asking too much? The story is obviously about to break about Goose's true identity, so Carl decides to get in there first. It's called disinformation, Airdale! Or if that concept is too difficult for you to understand - black propaganda!
Carl leaks the story, probably through a strawman, to Reuters. Nate swallows it hook, line and sinker. However, because it's in the "kooky" Oil Drum, a site that, let's be honest, lacks credibility; no one will take the story seriously even though it's true! In Rovian logic nobody with an ounce of sense would believe anything posted here. If you still don't get it, look at the comments. How smart people can be so gulluble amazes me sometimes. It's a double sting, Airdale!
Dear Scribbleman,
(And its Airdale,,just as its spelled) Please read my earlier comment three or four below your comment(11:00ish) for my hopeless attempt at trying a coverup. I did indicate blackops and british involvement on a high order but that was just flim-flam to attempt to out Scribbleman.
Now I really really think you were fooled earlier and the comment to me was an attempt to whitewash your naiveté.
And this comment to me indicates you did not read my 2nd comment wherein ...yada yada....
Several were fooled. Don't fell(spelling accurate) alone.
I know my scribblemanship is quite pathetic and thats why I follow all your posts so closely and was astonished that my hero appeared to be taken in.
Airdale-poor country boy with little fetching up (translation:fetching up--raising up)
I can spell MOOT...as in "its moot"
WM,
Appreciate the insightful commentary. But you know there may be even bigger breaking news today. Google is offering free, yes FREE wideband internet service, at least for today, check it out on their website. It works by making use of your toilet as a WF receiver, sounds kinda funny, huh, I know, but they got it all worked out. Man, I can't wait. I used to enjoy reading the paper on the can. But now, now I can kick back with a Schlitz and play networked World of War with my buddies till all hours of the morning, all for free. What's the old saying, it doesn't get any better than this. I may never get off the throne.
Every now and then, TOD posts a headline article that really sums it all up for me.
Truly, this article posted on April 1, 2007 will go down in history as a watershed moment, separating the past epoch from the new epoch.
We have today entered the Age of Aquarius.
See? We're all on the same side. We are now united.
Soon all war will cease and the earth will burst forth with plenty for all.
Rove is Lard! ...er.....Lord! ....errr.... um ...
Happy Palm Sunday, Lard Rove!
Ride through Washington DC perched on a large military vehicle.
People will appreciate the humble gesture, and throw flowers, palm branches, their clothes, and maybe even themselves in your pathway to show their devotion.
Hallelujah! We are saved!
In true spycraft dis-informational methodology one would make such an assertion and therefore I believe it. The brits taught us very well in this. Didn't anyone see The Good Shepard fer crying out loud?
The neocons are just that smart.
You notice that Prof Goose has never revealed his true identity on this board. Thats plenty of proof as well.I bet he also has a 'license to kill'.
Airdale-wish I was that smart
Damn it! I was on the look out for jokes today, but didn't catch this one until the disconsonance between TOD reporting on something it is denying finally hit me five paragraphs down.
I'll tell 'ya, when I run around saying stuff like this...
Gotcha! Just kidding! It's a sound bite! I'm on the radio and TV all the time, you know. Give me a break! You've got to be confident, sound authoritative, you just can't go in there unprepared when NPR or CNN wants you to reassure the public that everything's going to be OK. You can't say "Ah... I dunno, looks pretty bad from where I'm sitting." No way, won't do.
I've got this "fifth time" stuff memorized. If you don't believe me, do a Google search for "Yergin fifth time". And repetition really helps. You gotta' say it over and over! I was at a party the other day, trying to wangle another invitation to Bilderberg — those folks know how to party — and damned if I didn't hear somebody else saying "I don't think there's a problem, this is, like, the fifth time we've run out of oil, isn't it?" Makes me proud, just doing my job.
Boy, have I been yanking your chain at The Oil Drum, or what? We're up shit creek without a paddle! I'm gettin' while the gettin' is good. And it won't be good for long, so let's party like it's 1999!
Old buddy of mine said, "Seems to me, if the world is ending, you gotta' figure somebody's gonna make a buck off it". You bet! And that somebody is me. Go ahead, grow your own. I'll be the one in the stretch limo eating steak and pate de foie gras.
Been lurking long? 'Bout time you spoke up, Jerkin' Yergin. It makes perfect sense--- you are working with Rove. TODers should have known. :-)
You had me going...for a bit,however Rove is too busy
trying to dismantle the federal gov.,...and ripping the heads off small animals to post here.
I found this incredible website on how to prepare for peak oil and climate change:
http://www.ready.gov/
Good thing September is National Preparedness Month.
Newsflash! Farmers and gardeners instantly enrich topsoil with TVs.
"Never seen anything like it--just amazing--we are done buying fertilizer" says farmer Brown, "all my fellow farmers are buying big screenTVs for our John Deere tractors."
USDA tests now confirm that a powered-up TV elevated a mere four inches above the ground, but screen down, adds instant topsoil.
"I'm done hauling manure and shoveling compost" declared professional horticulturist Esther Smith. "Now, I carefully read my TV guide to get the very worst programs that give me the best soil enrichment results before I plant my seeds."
Ag researchers say TV shows that promote mindless consumption or stupid political lies are the best way to elevate topsoil enrichment rates.
"Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous with Robin Leach" is 45% more efficient at enhancing the topsoil. "Animal Planet" TV programs don't work at all. Preliminary tests suggest that DVDs endlessly playing TV commercials and re-election campaign mud-slinging moments maybe the best way to instantly maximize soil amendments.
Bob Shaw in Phx,Az Are Humans Smarter than Yeast?
That's LOL rich!
Just one thing tho: What's the comparison rates between CTRs, LCDs, and Plasmas? I'm in the market for best tv-to-compost EROEI.
Pick the one with the highest EnergyStar rating! That way you are assured of getting a TV with the maximum high tech, highly processed crap transfer rate.
Farmers claim that a 3-gang 60-inch HDTV* setup tuned to the Home Shopping Network will reliably lay down a uniform one inch of fresh and chunky crap at a slow tractor pace every time. This is the advised minimum setup if you own a large farm.
*HDTV--Huge Deposit TeleVision
Small gardeners can get by with a 15" monitor set to American Idol, Paris Hilton, and Anna Nichole Smith MSM coverage for max crap transfer. But be careful--this crappy programming will temporarily stun any beneficial worms and bumblebees in your garden.
Or you could get the powerful 12 inch "Disco Version" designed specifically for MTV.
batteries sold seperate
only availiable in black
that reminds me, why are a wedding night and an old TV similar....they both have 4 wobbly legs and a worn out knob.
RealClimate knows that the best April Fools blog entries involve animals:
The Sheep Albedo Feedback
Nice try, Prof Goose, but I know your true master amongst the alien Greys and the real scope of your ambitions for the technocracy. The grasping hands of the Illuminati is clear from the placement and colouring of graphs, obviously favouring the breakfast cereal and fructose interests that front for powers beyond most readers invaginations. You may think building a tremendously influential and engaged community of citizen activists will save you, but wait till they discover your voting patterns for the last thirty years (coming soon to retail via the privatised State).
PH.Dummy
Switch grass and methyl alcohol plant plans that are not economical.
A tax credit for having an SUV owned by one's business.
Claiming Sadaam corrupted the UN food for oil program and then taking away the entire program to make the Iraqis hungry.
Atttacking Iraqi isometric militias potentially in the millions with 150,000 soldiers.
Deficits in the hundreds of billions, a debt in the trillions. Squandering the social security fund on worthless war.
Could this be the secret work of TOD's code name Goose? We cannot speculate what the work of this operative is, or what agency this one works for. It might be illegal to discuss the plans of the agency or who its operatives are. This post will not self destruct in 60 seconds.
No April Fool me, I suggest that not only is Father Goose Karl Rove, he is as well masquerading as the notorious Phinias Gage. Both Phinias and Father G hail from the Appalachians and all show signs of having suffered from Steel Bar syndrome.